There’s a long list of things new parents expect when they bring a baby home. Sleepless nights. Nappy changes. Crying. Basically, all the usual suspects, right? Sure, there are going to be questions about how well the baby latches during feeds, what their first food will be when that time hits, how they’ll react to bath time, and the list can go on and on.
But then there’s the stuff that doesn’t make it into the antenatal class slide deck. The weird, unpredictable, slightly confusing side of newborn life that no one warns about until it’s happening at 3 am and you’re Googling it in one hand while holding a baby in the other. Because no matter how prepared someone feels going in, there are always a few surprises hiding in the details. And they’re the kind that make even the calmest adults pause and think, “Is this normal?”
Newborns are Noisy Even When they’re Asleep
Okay, so people assume a sleeping baby equals silence. Then the baby arrives, and suddenly the room is filled with snorts, grunts, whines, hiccups, and that one noise that sounds like a tiny goat. Newborns don’t sleep quietly. Their breathing is dramatic. Their faces twitch. Sometimes they squeak like a kettle. It’s all normal, but it catches people off guard. Half the time, it sounds like they’re waking up, but they’re not. They’re just being noisy little dreamers, which can make sleep for everyone else a bit of a guessing game.
Yeah, even after that phase, like three months in, it can be the same issue.
Cluster Feeding is a Real Thing and it’s Wild
The idea that babies eat every few hours is technically true, but it skips the part where some babies decide they’d rather snack constantly for several hours straight. Yes, you read that right, and yes, cluster feeding is intense. It’s not just a growth spurt thing, it’s a comfort thing. And it usually happens when parents least expect it.
But of course, it’s far from ideal. There’s no rhythm to it, especially in those first few weeks. One evening might be calm. The next might involve feeding every 20 minutes while your dinner goes cold on the counter. It’s completely normal, but it throws off every schedule and assumption going.
The Witching Hour isn’t Just a Dramatic Phrase
Just when people think they’ve got a rhythm going, the late afternoon rolls in like a tidal wave of screaming. Maybe it’s even the early evening when it’s their bedtime. But it usually starts around five or six in the evening and feels completely random. Like, it feels totally random and so confusing. Just think about it; babies that were content all day suddenly lose the plot for absolutely no reason.
Well, yeah, there’s a name for it, and it actually helps to know it exists. So yeah, it’s a bit random, but it’s not like you’re doing anything wrong. Actually, it could really help to do some research, like reading Baby Witching Hour: What it Is and How to Cope, because this could honestly be a massive sanity-saver. But just generally speaking, do some research!
Infants Make Mess in ways No One Mentions
You pick up on these fast, but still, it’s just something no one really talks much about. For example, spit-up gets a lot of attention, but that’s just the start. Both newborns and older infants are basically small fountains, there’s the milk leaks, nappies leak, everything leaks. It’s not just that first week of having a baby, either. And just when someone thinks they’ve cleaned it all up, the baby sneezes in their face mid-nappy change (but this is really just the tip of the iceberg).
Also, newborns poo with surprising force. Well, all infants are guilty of this; technically, toddlers are too. It’s the kind of power that defies physics and sprays across changing mats, freshly washed blankets, or the floor. The mess isn’t always a disaster, but it’s unpredictable and often hits right after someone’s changed it into something clean.
The Constant Soundtrack of Worry
Even calm, confident people find themselves second-guessing things they never thought twice about before. Is the baby breathing too fast? Too slow? Is that a rash or just a mark from the blanket? Was that cry pain or boredom, or existential dread? Even if you get one of those Owlet socks or the Nanit Pro, you’re still going to worry, it just will happen.
The mental load is heavy in the early days. And it doesn’t help that babies change constantly. One day, they love being held upright. The next day, it makes them scream. There’s no rule book, and the back-and-forth between “this is fine” and “this feels weird” becomes the background noise of daily life.
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