2020 was the worst year of our lives and not just because of the global pandemic. As a family we went through so much heartache and just because the bells have rang and the date has changed doesn’t mean that heartache has stopped. In fact in some ways it’s harder knowing those we lost in 2020 will never get to experience this year and it feels like we are leaving them behind, even though they will forever stay in our hearts.
When I reflect on 2020, however, I realise that there were still sprinkles of joy, laughter and huge moments of pride for us, so thankfully we can always look back and smile at the memories we now hold so dear. 2020 was of course Layla’s year of firsts too and what a tonic she has been. Without her here to distract us and make us laugh the year would have been so much harder. When I fell pregnant with Layla I worried she had joined our family too late, the age gap was too big between her and the boys and Billy and I had waited too long to complete our family.
But now I know that Layla Grace arrived exactly when she was meant to.
Looking into 2021 is tricky. We have certainly learnt that life is short and that it is for living to the fullest and as we don’t know what the world will look like this year in terms of lockdowns and tiers, it makes making plans and setting goals a whole lot harder.
So this year I wont be making any resolutions as such. Instead I am going to try and live by a few simple rules instead
It really, really, really and truly, doesn’t matter what other people think
For so long I have worried about what I do, what I say, what I write about, everything, for fear of what others think about me. I hold back so much, let opportunities slip on by and don’t always be true to myself because I spend too long worrying. The worse part is, I have specific people whose opinions seem to matter more to me than others and yet those people aren’t in my circle, they are acquaintances whose judgement wouldn’t really have an impact on my life except to upset me if I ever knew about it. So no more. I am going to do what I want and only take the advice from those that are close to me and even then I may still say bugger it and carry on anyway!
You can’t take it with you
If you like it, use it. Don’t keep anything for best because best may not come. You can not take that fancy new dress, expensive gin, or posh candle with you when your time comes. Every day is special, everyday is a gift so wear the dress, drink the gin and light that candle!
Get dressed and get going
Lockdown has me living in Pyjamas and dressing gowns, which in turn has me snuggled up more than I should. So I need to get up, get moving and get motivated more. Not for anyone else but for me. I find if I am dressed I am so much more productive than when I have my PJ’s on.
Run, whilst you still can
For a long time I hated exercise. Not because it meant hard work or getting sweaty but because I didn’t like how I looked in sports wear. Truth be told I didn’t like how I looked in anything but sports wear was the worse. I am not skinny and I have a large chest, I wibble and wobble when I run and it ain’t pretty. But running is good for my mental health. It lets me escape my thoughts (and my children) for a short time and gives me space to be me. So this year I am going to carry on trying my best to ignore what I think others are thinking when they see me run. I am going to stop worrying about if wearing shorts in summer will offend other people and I’m going to stop wearing so many layers on the hottest of days just to hide the fact I have a body underneath. I am so grateful for my health at the moment. I am learning to love my body for what it has done for me and continues to do, such as allowing my carry 3 babies, instead of hating it for the way it looks.
In a bid to stick to this one I have signed up to run the virtual Land’s End to John O’ Groats which is 874 miles in a year, a tad extreme but let’s run whilst I can and see what happens.
Do what you love
I am in a very fortunate position where I am able to work for myself. I get to work from home around child care and other family commitments which means I have been able to earn a living from writing, blogging and social media management which I absolutely love. However last year what with maternity leave, family needs and Covid I wrote very little and numerous jobs where cancelled, including all our festivals. So this year I am focused on pushing my business further to ensure that I can continue to do what I love.
So, 2021 may not be about to start with a bang, big resolutions and dramatic transformation aspirations but hopefully being more mindful about my choices, determined about making my dreams come true and using my time more wisely as well as no longer giving two hoots what other people think before they have even had the chance to think it, I am hopeful 2021 will be a productive and contented year for me and mine.
How are you approaching 2021? If you have goals and resolutions I would love to hear them.
Whether you have plans or are just going to take it as it comes I hope you have the best 2021!
Happy New Year